hello! welcome!!
it's wild but…. my first youtube video is out in years!!! and hey!!! you're on my new website!!!
there is so much to say. so much is going on behind the scenes here (aka in my brain and in my journal and on my laptop). and it is all happening as it is, and i'm just along for the ride, doing my best to continue showing up to the process, and allowing myself to do what needs to be done to get these ideas out of my imagination and into the world. i am feeling called to share and this is how it's happening! i'm heeding the call!
i started my youtube channel in 2020 (the last time i heeded this call). it's actually really adorable because in my old videos you can see me cope with getting braces at 22 years old, and at the time it was frankly devastating because i had just started this channel and i was so insecure about how i looked and sounded with braces on. i did such a good job and i am still so tickled by the videos from that time.
now i'm here! in 2025! in february! in this new space!
there is far more that i'd love to share here about my life online, the internet, and living so publicly for so many years via my blog 16til26*. i think what is pushing me to create so much right now is that… i am now 26! the blog, experiment, project that i launched in high school is finally/already ending. i have spent years considering what it would look like on the other side of the blog, and now it's finally here and i'm actually excited and it feels so spacious. i was so scared. i cried for hours in december as i braced myself for my birthday.
i am so pleased and so tired and i don't actually know the exact concoction of emotions i'm experiencing right now, but i do know that it is so peculiar to be immersed in this process… this process of creation, yes, but also these overlapping processes of sharing, revisiting old work, relearning, unlearning, worldbuilding, remembering, reminiscing… and like basically getting jumped by my inner critic every day.
i feel like i have to remind myself every day of who i am, little by little. a month ago, it was rewatching youtube videos. last night, it was revisiting my facebook posts and photos that date back to 2011. every morning, it's writing in my journal.
more thoughts to come on that but for now i leave you with one more thing…
i'm also feeling fluttery because i am just now sharing this part of my life with a community that i just joined in the past year (hi friends!), and it makes me feel shy but excited! it is so important to note that the love and growth i've experienced since joining bemovement collective (shoutout lauren!) and this larger community out in the bay area has been essential in reclaiming my voice, my sense of self, and my old (and new) creative practices.
i've had a blog for ten years and a youtube channel for four and i haven't posted anything since that great becoming of 2023-24!! (until now……………….)
questions that anchor me: what feels easeful? what feels fun? what feels authentic? what feels sustainable? what feels nourishing?
as long as i anchor myself in these values, whatever comes out is fair game!
in the next few months i'll be wrapping up 16til26*, reflecting on the process, crocheting, dancing, going on walks, calling my best friend, and chatting way more.
i love you and thank you for being here.
love,
izzya