last update: march 9, 2026 - 22:53pm

daylight savings at last! i got to say hi to saki today. he was curled up in the sunlight on the stairs of the rose garden. licking something, his winter coat shedding. i didn't recognize him at first, mainly because he has a new orange collar, and because he was hesitant to approach me last week. he walked away over and over, away from my over and over-familiarity. i thought, perhaps it's someone new.

i could confirm it was him only after he remembered it was me. that was this morning, when he crawled into my lap and kneaded his claws into my knee as i said ouch! and thank you! over and over, just like last spring. he crawled off my lap and onto my feet and revealed to me his soft belly, black strewn with white splinters of fur, and his dangling tag flipped onto his chin to let me know. SAKI.

we sat together, covered in pollen and crushed leaf and dust and dirt. my cooing mixed with a soft handpan drifting around us. saki i've missed you! saki it's spring! saki we're here! saki i'm so happy to see you.

i didn't say goodbye before the winter came. i didn't know i had to. i'm so bad at goodbyes, i hope i don't know when the last time i see you is. i hope our goodbye is just like this. i'm sorry, i don't mean to say goodbye when it's a hello after so long. i guess i just didn’t realize how much i've missed you. so many friends moved away when the leaves started to die. it's so hard to remember that the dying away makes space for something new. something strong. or maybe just the same friends that have grown– grown stronger, grown out, grown up. saki i should have known it was you. you've just grown up too.

maybe i didn't say the latter part. but i did love to say his name. saki! saki! saki! saki you're a baby! and i love you! thank you for sitting with me. i am so happy to see you!

when we finally separated, he perched himself upright, closed his eyes and listened. i joined him for a while. i thanked him and found the lawn at the bottom of the stairs. i lied in the sunlight too